I like to read.

Title: You Or Someone Like You
Author: Chandler Burr
Genre: Fiction

Oh the writing in this book is absolutely delicious. I devoured this book like I devour my friend Marsha’s lemon sunshine cake. Seriously. Absolutely delicious writing. Burr’s description of a garden made even me want to take up gardening. That’s a serious accomplishment. For the first, oh let’s say 60% of the book, I was so wrapped up in both the writing and the overall novel that I could barely put it down. But then things changed. Then the plot took a turn that I didn’t see coming and one that pushed far too many of my own buttons. The catalyst for the plot turn was actually something that the author took from his own life so obviously it pushed his buttons too.

Once my buttons had been pushed and once the plot went so very far in the direction that it went it became impossible for me to enjoy the book anymore. The demonetization of something incredibly meaningful and important to me and a naive interpretation of many details about that thing left me absolutely cold.

So what I can say about You Or Someone Like You is that it contains absolutely brilliant writing that I simply adored but I did not love the novel.

Title: The Book of Jewish Values: A Day-By-Day Guide to Ethical Living
Author: Rabbi Joseph Telushkin
Genre: Judaism

I read this book over the course of a year. Give or take a few missed and a few catch up days I read one value each day. This book has had such a large impact on my behavior in lots and lots of ways. One of the most obvious ways is the way I deal with panhandlers and homeless people I encounter. If someone asks me for a dollar and I have a dollar I will now give it to them and I will look them in the eye and tell them to have a nice day. If I don’t have a dollar I’ll offer to buy them some food. The chance that the person might just be scamming me is not nearly reason enough to deny someone (and myself) an act of compassion.

That’s just one example, there are countless others. Seriously, I can’t overstate how much this book impacted me. And I learned a lot of Talmudic information from it as well so win-win.

Title: The Chosen
Author: Chaim Potok
Genre: Fiction

This book was recommend by my friend Kyle. I didn’t make the connection at the time but I’m pretty sure the movie version of this book was the first time I ever saw anything related to Hasidism. I distinctly remember watching this movie as a kid on satellite.

It really is a lovely book that tells a story of true friendship between two boys as they grow into young men and each of them figure out who and what they are in the shadow of strong, intelligent fathers. The Hasid vs. non-Hasid is played up of course but that’s not really what the book is about. It’s really about family and friendship, or perhaps more accurately family and chosen family. It’s good stuff.

Title: Matzoh Ball Gumbo: Culinary Tales of the Jewish South
Author: Marcie Cohen Ferris
Genre: Judaism, Non-Fiction

I really enjoyed this book and learned lots about the eating habits and
cultural lives of those who identify as both Southern and Jewish. Good stuff. Read this book and you’ll know how Coke became kosher for Passover, what “kosher-style” means and all about some Southern Reform congregations throwing shrimp and crawfish boils as fundraisers(!). Some really, really interesting stories in this book and several good recipes. Come Rosh Hashanah I’m making the honey cake recipe in fact.

Title: The How of Happiness: A New Approach to Getting the Life You Want
Author: Sonja Lyubomirsky
Genre: Non-Fiction

I’m not much of a self-help book kind of person. In fact this may be the first self-help book I’ve ever read all the way through. This one came highly recommended from a friend though and several weeks ago I kind of made the decision that I’ve got to figure out how to live again. I full well know that sounds melodramatic but it’s the truth. After my “event” life isn’t the same for me and my connection to the world isn’t the same and I’ve got to figure this shit out again. And by “this shit” I mean how to live and be happy about it.

So I’m doing everything I can to stack the deck in my favor, everything I can to better my chances of success. If a book filled with “happiness activities” and scientific research about happiness can even potentially offer me something useful then I’m going to read it. I’m actually quite glad I read it. I came away with four concrete actions that suite my personality and natural inclinations. I also came away with a few general concepts that I’m going to try to integrate into my life as well.

If you suffer from depression (or if you’re super lucky like me and have what’s called “double depression”) I’d highly recommend this book on one condition: you have to buy in. You have to have made the choice that you want to get better, that you want to be happier. That’s a hard decision to make. For people who don’t have these issues that must sound crazy (ha!) but it’s actually really logical. If you don’t think you deserve to be happy then how on earth can you make the choice to try and be happy? If you aren’t able to make that choice right now then I don’t think you’ll get a lot out of this book. If you are able to make that choice, to say that you want to be happy and you deserve to be happy then this book is a good starting point. Buying in to the book’s premise (that there is a certain percentage of happiness level that you can increase no matter what your genes or circumstances have done to you) is the big hurdle. If you buy in though I think you’ll find the book valuable. 

Title: A Whole New Mind
Author: Daniel H. Pink
Genre: Non-fiction

Title: The Lost Art of Walking
Author: Geoff Nicholson
Genre: Non-fiction

Title: Every Tallit Tells a Tale
Author: Debra W. Smith
Genre: Judaism

I went tallit shopping yesterday and couldn’t help but pick up this book since it was so topical. My rabbi has been encouraging me to buy a tallit for a while now. A couple weeks ago, while things were so hard for me, I had a dream about a magical tallit. In the dream the tallit was like a bullet proof super hero’s cape. If you were wrapped in the tallit everything was ok, everything was going to be alright. I commented about the dream on Twitter which got fed to Facebook where my rabbi saw it. This past shabbat he nudged me again about buying a tallit, he said he thinks the dream was telling me to. I don’t know about that but I did agree that it was time to buy one. I’m still processing what the tallit might potentially mean to me and processing why I chose the one that I did.

In any case this book is a collection of (mostly) first person essays about tallit. Lots of stories about how the writers chose their tallitot, what the significance of the tallit is to the individual, etc. It was a very fast read and it actually gave me a lot to chew on as I define what my tallit means to me and my place l’dor vador (from generation to generation).

Title: Surprised by God: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Religion
Author: Danya Ruttenberg
Genre: Judaism, Memoir

It’s been almost a month since I finished a book. To those who know me in real life that’s what is known as a “red flag.” I’m better now. Mostly. Not reading a book for a month has also put me way, way behind on my reading schedule for the year. Lots of catch up reading in front of me.

When I first started my conversion path a friend of a friend put me in touch with Rabbi Danya Ruttenberg. I wanted a woman I could speak with about feminist issues in Judaism, conservative Judaism and finding the personally right level of observance. She was very kind to chat with me and answer my questions. I owe her a great debt. I’m ashamed to admit that I have only now read her spiritual memoir but better late than never yes?

I enjoyed the book very much, particularly her trials and errors finding the right level of observance for herself after she embraced God & Judaism. Trying on kippot, stepping up observance of kashrut, total observance of shabbat, etc. I am still trying to find the exact right level of observance for myself and I very much enjoyed reading about how she tried on things until she found the right fit for herself. While I don’t see donning tefillin in my future I’m not shutting any doors and it was really nice seeing how far she came in her spiritual journey.

Title: The Essential Talmud
Author: Adin Steinsaltz
Genre: Judaism, Religious reference

Wikipedia’s definition for the Talmud is pretty good so I’m going to share it just in case Talmud is a brand new word for you:

“The Talmud (Hebrew: תַּלְמוּד talmūd “instruction, learning”, from a root lmd “teach, study”) is a record of rabbinic discussions pertaining to Jewish law, ethics, customs, and history. It is a central text of mainstream Judaism.”

While that’s a pretty good really basic overview it doesn’t even begin to scratch the surface on how in-depth, detailed, large, complex and important the Talmud is. This book, The Essential Talmud, is an actual introduction to the Talmud. Yep, this entire book is about the Talmud. What it is, how it’s arranged, how it was written, etc. It’s in-depth, so in-depth in fact that I was in over my head several times. To recap: I was in over my head reading a book that explains the Talmud. Guess there goes my dreams of being a Talmudic scholar.

One of the things I love best about Judaism though is that you don’t have to be a Talmudic scholar. You can be as intellectually curious or not and study as much as you want to. If Talmud is over your head there are still plenty of options for Torah study and other routes of observance. But you’re always encouraged to study more, to increase your own personal knowledge and understand. And you’re encouraged to question and argue. It’s all very intellectually stimulating to me.

Once in a class my rabbi was talking about changes in traditional prayers (in Conservative Judaism anyway, I’m sure the Orthodox still say it the old way) and he was going to gloss over a change from a seemingly anti-woman prayer. In a very “gotcha!” kind of voice I was all “wait a minute Rabbi, did they make that change at the same time they changed the verse about being a woman?” He got a kind of sheepish grin on his face and was just like “yep, same time” and said something about me being clever. In this particular class no one else had any idea what I was talking about and that was fine. Everyone gets to choose their level of study, everyone gets to satisfy their own levels of intellectual curiosity. That’s so perfect for me. Though I think in Talmud study my reach may exceed my grasp. I want to study and learn more but I’m not sure I’m clever enough in this area.