The L Word, week 7
We begin with a flashcurrent. It’s a kind of hot flashcurrent featuring Lolita Davidovich as a costumer “working” on a beautiful woman’s outfit and on the beautiful woman if you know what I mean. So I didn’t mind it nearly as much as I’ve minded the others.
There was a bit of character development with all the main characters this wee which is a nice change since most weeks it’s one or two characters that gets the focus and every body else is mostly ignored.
- The soon to be parents couple has become baby and nesting obsessed. Baby and domestic stuff is all they ever do and all they ever talk about. Their group of friends is quite tired of it and tells them so in a funny little “Intervention” scene.
- Shane (the one who had a stalker back in week 3) has hooked up with a member of the gay mafia (I swear to god they used that phrase two weeks back to describe him) because he thinks she looks like a boy and thus wants to screw her. She doesn’t screw him but instead is hair dress to his friends and clients in exchange for his drugs. Because it’s not predictable at all to have the one character with “wild, rockstar hair” be into drugs. Anyway Gay Mafioso lends her a yacht he’s rented so she can throw an all girl party with an open bar and “sweet cocktail waitresses.” The concept of the party is excellent. I mean who doesn’t want to see a yacht filled with lesbians? But alas the lesbians on the boat are all terribly skinny and flat chested. That gets old after a while. Why nobody on this show can have boobs I don’t know.
- Alice the bisexual is hanging out at the party with Lisa the lesbian identified man. There are no other men at the party (besides security that checks the guestlist for allowing people on the boat) besides Lisa (aka Brian Krakow). He’s talking new agey crap and she’s talking about how tense she is. So naturally they retreat to a cabin for one on one massage therapy or light therapy or some other therapy that results in her losing her shirt and the two of them starting to get it on. But wait there’s a catch. He doesn’t want to have sex the old fashioned boy girl way because he’s a lesbian. Instead he wants to use a fake penis. That makes sense right because of course all lesbians want a fake penis because really what is sex without a penis? I’ll tell you what it is, it’s fucking great. Anyway Alice goes down on him and he forgets his objection to his own attached penis until they’re done fooling around. Then he acts hurt and used and leaves. When I throw a shoe through my television because of this character I full well expect Showtime to buy me a new one.
- Tennis Player girl gets a lecture from her agent about staying in the closet because of the inevitable “Lifestyle Clause” in her contract with Subaru. I said to B “I can’t believe Subaru is letting themselves be portrayed as non-homo friendly.” Turns out they really aren’t because they want the tennis player to be the “gay Anna Kournekova.” I’m not sure why they want to be like a tennis player that’s never really won but they do and she’s pleased as punch and promptly fires the closet suggesting agent. Of course she doesn’t find out that Subaru wants her to be a homo until after she’s already broken up with the sweet chef girlfriend because it’s too hard to be with her and be in the closet. I believe I predicted this last week did I not?
- As expected (because that’s the way they play it on this show) the smallest amount of character action belongs to Pam Grier’s character. Her son comes to town and reluctantly wants to see her. They agree to meet but he sees her at the bar and assumes she’s drinking so he leaves her there high and dry. Weak, easy and lazy on the part of the writers.
OK now to the good stuff and as always by good I mean bad but good to bitch about: Straight Girl’s still undetermined whatever boy (we’ll stick with Boy Friend for now)bagging up SG’s shit when she opens the door and walks in looking quite homeless. He asks where she’s been and obviously she’s still on mushrooms because she talks about being with the mushroom kids and climbing a mountain. He tells he her caught her letter and he never wanted her to rip out her internal organs, he just wanted her to be honest. If SG weren’t such a lying ho she might have recognized the “I just wanted you to be honest” part as a setup for his next question. But she is, so she didn’t notice the setup and she lied yet again when he asked her if when he walked in on her with PL it absolutely the first time they hooked up. One lie too many for him and he pitches her shit out onto the yard and tells her to leave.
Obviously the logical place to go from here is to PL since you told her last week you never want to see her again and hooking up with her was a mistake. PL shows her bruises on her wrists from when Boyfriend grabbed her last week. So my creeped out feeling was apparently right on target. SG kisses the bruised wrists and asks to go to PL’s house. PL lets her of course and we have to see a shot of SG in the bathtub.
Later SG and PL go to Shane’s party and SG looks amazed at all the women on the boat and her pussy addiction goes into full press mode. She and PL dance all up on each other and later return to PL’s house for much sexing. The next morning SG asks to move in. OK she says it will just be for a week but you know she’s really looking for the next stop on the Straight Girl Shack Up Express because Boy Friend has kicked her and her shit out. Then in a brilliant and unexpected plot twist Predatory Lesbian says no, you can’t move in because Francesca is coming home tomorrow. Brilliant I say. Turns out PL has a hot girlfriend who happens to be a costume designer (from the flashcurrent people, pay attention) that travels quite a bit. According to PL everyone knows about Francesca and so should Straight Girl since she knows she told her. SG says no you didn’t tell me and storms out of PL’s bed. She storms out of the house to with her trash bag full of stuff, but not before noticing several pictures of PL and Francesca right beside the front door. And not before asking PL “who are you.” PL responds that she’s someone who cares about her. She also plays the predatory role brilliantly by saying “I’ve opened up your world.” I don’t know if I would describe being unemployed, homeless and significant other-less as signs of a fabulous open world but that’s just me.
Because Straight Girl is so creative and strong and smart she goes apartment hunting. OK not really. I was just trying to throw something different into the mix because we all know that when she gets rejected by one she runs to the other. That means she shows back up at Boy Friend’s begging to spend the night in the writing studio he made for her out back. Yes, the same writing studio that she was getting busy with PL in when Boy Friend walked in on her. She says “Please believe me when I say I wish none of this had happened.” I’m surprised she doesn’t just say “my pussy addiction made me do it.” He tells her that nothing she says means anything to him but still he says she can spend one night in the writing studio. She starts to walk through the house to get to the back yard and he tells she has to walk around the house. Oh he’s a real hard liner.
Previews for next weeks show find Straight Girl becoming Predatory Lesbian’s stalker. Obviously a logical progression for continuing the representation of straight women as crazy on this show.
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