On a path a Michelle Jones type situation

The L Word Season 5 Week Three

Let’s just cut to the chase, otherwise known as the parts that annoyed me most.

Leave it to The L Word to ruin Charley’s Angels fantasies for everyone by throwing one up that completely revolves around Jenny. That’s all I’m going to say about that. Fuckers.

Kit was in fact robbed at gun point. Can we start a campaign to give this character a decent storyline? One that doesn’t involve getting cheated on, falling off the wagon or getting robbed at gun point? Please.

A group of Jodi’s friends do an annual group bonding weekend up in the mountains. They’ve been doing it for 11 years and Jodi has never taken anyone with her before, until now when she takes Bette. Of course this means Bette and Jodi’s friends will hate each other on sight. Well, not exactly hate each other but not respect each other. The group of friends do all sorts of things Bette isn’t comfortable with, like drinking mojitos at 9AM, and they won’t just let her do her own thing, like reading/working instead of playing football. She on the other hand won’t really participate or try to warm up to the group. All of my good feelings towards the friends are totally wiped out when Jodi’s bff Michael literally picks Bette up and tosses her in the lake because she really just wants to read her book instead of playing football. I haven’t found things like that funny since, well never, but I recall 12 year olds finding that kind of behavior funny. Later Bette bites her lip and tries to be nice to Michael after he essentially accuses her of being a bourgeoisie art snob who is part of the systematic elevation of art prices responsibility for keeping art out of the hands of the people. Kit being robbed at gunpoint forces Bette and Jodi to return to LA early. Michael tries to get Jodi to stay, saying that one of the friends can drive her back but she chooses to go with Bette instead. Can I just say that I hated this storyline? It’s so lazy to have not one single person in the group actually try to talk to Bette or get to know her a little bit. It was totally like “if you’re not exactly like us and don’t want to do all the things we want to do then you totally suck. Fin.”

As previews indicated Shane has given up sex, replaced it with exercise and is as hyper and full of energy as a 12 year boy hopped up on sweet tarts, pixie sticks and magazines stolen from his father’s girlie magazine stash. The only way this was made even remotely interesting was when the lack of sex finally got to her and she tried to make out with Helena. Yep, Helena cause as previews indicated Helena’s mother, the supremely funny Peggy Peabody, finally sprang up to get Helena out of jail. The absolute best moment of this week’s show came when Peggy Peabody was inundated with sexual catcalls and she gave it back just as good as she got. I’m not going to ruin the line or the delivery for you because this something you.must.see. I’ll just give a teaser: “I’d serve it up family style.”

So Helena’s out of jail and is really still just like a 15 year old with rebellion issues. Instead of being happy that Mummy bailed her out she hates her mother and the way she treats her and really just wants to get back to her sweet, sensitive, could crush my head with her biceps cell mate. So that’s what she’s going to do. After Shane tries to make out with her she sneaks out the back of her “get out of jail party” to retrieve the money she’d stolen and stashed, get her cell mate out of jail and the two are planning to retire to an island somewhere. Not sure if this means the character of Helena is really gone but I’m ok with it if she is.

Alice and Shane help Tina find use online dating to find a blond cardiologist with breast implants, excuse me “augmented” breasts. They have semi-hot sex on the good doctor’s couch surrounded by her art collection. The good doctor didn’t even mind that Tina talked about Bette a lot during dinner. So either she’s a saint or she just really wanted to sleep with Tina. Either way works, since any potential love interest has to dig art and not mind that Tina talks about Bette all the time. It’s nice for Tina to have something to do other than pine away for Bette or seethe at Jenny.

Speaking of Jenny….look, I just can’t go into detail about her, it’s gone so far with her that it’s not even amusing in an absurd way anymore. I could try to explain the stupid scene with her in the gym where she wouldn’t actually do anything at all besides torturing Mousy Girl but you even I, in my endless snark, couldn’t do it justice. Just believe me when I tell you that Jenny is still just as crazy as she ever was. When either she does something interesting or something interesting involving her happens I’ll start talking about her again.

The official proceedings for kicking Tasha out of the military have started. All of the “valid” evidence against her, meaning it’s true and suggests she’s a lesbian, involves Alice. Tasha’s either going to have to lie about being a lesbian or she’s going to be thrown out of the military. Since lying would go against her military code of honor I’m betting she’s going to get thrown out, she’s going to try not to but she’ll blame Alice and will be really bitter. This will lead to an ugly breakup and Alice having a broken heart like we’ve never seen. What happened to Alice being funny? I like Alice when she’s funny. I love, and by love I mean hate with a passion, the way this show has spun so freaking far from reality but makes sure to keep one “realistic” depressing storyline each season to somehow keep it tethered to the ground. We had Dana dying, Bette’s father dying, etc. and this season we get Tasha running up against Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

I’d sort of forgotten that like, for a living, Alice is running Our Chart or whatever it is. If I’m not mistaken both in real life and on the show Our Chart is a social networking site for lesbians that includes profiles used for finding dates (a la Tina) blogs, podcasts and video podcasts. Alice is like a little talk show host in the video podcasts she makes for the site. Apparently she’s doing a-ok in the money department by doing this. This of course makes me very bitter. But I digress. The only reason this is important is because Max made a podcast about being trans that he wants to post to the site. Alice brushes him off and previews show that he’s going to post it to the site and it’s going to serve as the entry point for big discussions about dykes and trans men, trans men in the dyke community, trans men and lesbians, blah, blah, blah take your pick of keywords.

I’m waiting for the episode where somebody – anybody – throws Jenny off a roof.
I actually like what I’m seeing in Max’s emerging storyline of anti-trans bigotry in the lesbian community. You’d think Alice would have a little more sympathy since she considers herself bisexual, but I guess it makes for more “dramatic tension” to have her continue to be her blithe, clueless self.
Thanks for the recap!

In the recap re: Max I started to write “this could be a fine opportunity to discuss gender issues and relations between lesbians and trans folks in an interesting way.” But then I realized that’s way, way too much optimism to have about The L Word.

Three things regarding Max:
1. I’m enjoying his exploration of his identity.
2. Uh, when you make a podcast, do you hand someone a laptop to listen to it with? Email that shit! Or hand ‘em an iPod.
3. I didn’t quite follow the logic about one’s attractions being genetically encoded. He’s been saying he’s a man (in a woman’s body) that’s attracted to women. But then by the end of that conversation with Grace when they were talking about Tom coming on to him in the bathroom at The Planet, it sounded like he was saying maybe he really was into guys? Unclear.
But yeah, I don’t trust the show to handle that conversation with any grace.
There is no way this Tasha/Alice DADT storyline could end well. No. Way.
I was so ready to leap up out of my chair watching Jenny at the gym, but I was in the recliner and that was harder to do than it seemed.
I thought the Helena thing at the end was sloppy, too. They could have had her be a bit more articulate when she was talking to Peggy at the jail. And then the whole end at The Planet was way short, too. I thought for all the hot air Peggy blew before about Helena learning her lesson, it was a bit strange for her to then swing so far back the other way.
Jodi did a terrible job of mediating between Bette and her friends. She owed it to Bette to talk her friends down and make left-out-feeling Bette feel better. And she should have told her friends to back off a little instead of just staring at Bette like, “Sorry!” So not cool either way.
Overall, this was a very frustrating episode. I think Tina and fake boobs on the couch was the best part, and not because of the sex and boobs.

Regarding #2 you’re so right. I forgot to write about that but I was screaming to B “why will he not just email or upload that shit? Unless he’s just trying to be all “look at me I’ve got a MacBook pro!” I think he was also totally saying that he’s into guys now. Remember he hooked up with that gay last season or the season before last.
You’re right on on everything else as well.

It’s God’s private mystery why I continue to watch this show. Besides everything you said, I sometimes wonder if it’s secretly staffed by the Christian fundies. No relationship is ever happy. Bette and Tina, Alice and Dana, Shane and Paige (I never liked Carmen and really who doesn’t like it better when Shane is single but I digress.)
If the sex scenes were removed (which the writers basically did for season 3), would this not seem like anti-gay propaganda? Look what happens when you give in to lesbian impulses: die of cancer OR be forced to hang out with Jenny. And if you are trans, have a bunch of self-involved lesbians snub you over. And over. And.Over. I realize they are making a statement about the trans community but can poor Max dump that group already for some real friends?
At least it’s better than Queer as Folk’s latter seasons?

“It’s God’s private mystery why I continue to watch this show” is the best comment I’ve ever gotten in response to these recaps. Thank you so much.

Aw shucks. Thanks. You basically just expressed my aggravation with the show better than I could. Great characters (clearly due to an amazing group of actresses) but ridonkulous writing.
I stick around I guess because I see so much potential in the show but somehow things always take a dire wrong turn (the whole DADT story, Dana’s death, the Kit abortion plot, Kit and Angus period, anything involving Jenny.)

Hi everybody… i dont have a perfect english but i would like to know which is the name of the song that sounds in tina and the cardiologist’s part… I’ll very glad if someone can help me. Thanks anyways!
Kisses!