Reverb 10: Everything’s OK
December 24: Everything’s OK
What was the best moment that could serve as proof that everything is going to be alright? And how will you incorporate that discovery into the year ahead?(Author: Kate Inglis)
A few weeks back we had a PechaKucha night at 21c and I had been invited to participate. I normally don’t get nervous before speaking gigs because I prepare well and know my stuff when I do them. There was no theme for this PechaKucha night. The only guidance they gave speakers for the topic was:
“We just ask that the presentations not be promotional material such as trying to sell a product or service to the audience. The presentations tend to be much more interesting if it something that inspires the speaker or motivates them to do what they do.”
Hmm. Well I took them at their word that it should not be promotional so no talking about Consuming Louisville or Let Them Tweet Cake. And I took to heart that it should be about what inspires or motivates me. So I prepped a very touchy feely, hoping-to-inspire-people to be kinder presentation. When I arrived at 21c I started to get really nervous. There was a poster in the lobby with pictures and bios of all the presenters and well, let’s just say my presence seemed out of sync with the others on the poster. Then one of the hosts of the evening introduced me to the husband and wife who own 21c. He kind of introduced me as “Consuming Louisville Michelle” and they of course had no idea what Consuming Louisville is so that was a bit awkward and put me even more on edge. Then I saw how many chairs and how formal the setup was down in the gallery space. Gulp.
I went to the bar and got my favorite Proof cocktail (Capri Martini) to settle down a bit. Didn’t work. Instead I took my drink downstairs to the gallery to review my notes and just got more and more and more and more nervous. Like I said I don’t normally get nervous before public speaking gigs so not only was I nervous and on edge but I was also having a kind of vertigo like “what is this feeling, this is not familiar.”
There were a couple architects on the bill for the evening and a couple artists and the man who owns like half of East Market street. Gulp, again. I knew they were going to talk about “Serious Grownup Issues” and I was going to talk about touchy-feely stuff and I felt out of my league.
And then the chairs started to fill. Fill with people a bit older, a bit less nerdy and significantly richer than I’m used to speaking to. I recognized some of the people and the diamonds and expensive clothes told tale on other folks. These were not the people I usually do my thing for, these are not the people who typically relate to me.
B had given up on trying to comfort me because every time she said “you’re going to be great” I would just respond with “This is bad. This is so bad. Oh this is bad.” At this point all the chairs were full, the standing room area behind the chairs was full and the stairwell going up to the main lobby and the balcony looking over the gallery were all full of people as well. “Holy shit” was the only reaction I could come up with when I realized just how packed the place was. Post event estimates had it at like 150, which may actually be the largest audience I’ve ever spoken in front of.
Then the first presenter got up on stage. And he talked about the urban agriculture movement. Then the next speaker presented on architectural plans for reviving a section of Louisville’s waterfront. Then the third presenter talked about the revitalization he’s been spearheading in the East Market District. And then it was me.
I got up on stage, looked at the crowd and miraculously found a few very supportive faces strategically located around the room. A dude from my synagogue was in the very front row. B was in the very back row, right corner, Lou from Loueyville was in the back in the left corner and I could see Gabe Bullard up on the balcony.
Deep breath and……….go!
It went swimmingly. The audience that I was so afraid of laughed at all the right places. They oohed and ahed where they were supposed to. About halfway through I realized that I kind of owned that audience. Like a performer who knows when she’s got the audience on her side I knew that the audience was mine. They were digging what I was saying and the way I was saying it. They dug the images I used to illustrate my points.
I was 100% who I am on that stage and the audience dug it anyway or because of or whatever. And in that moment it felt like I was ok.
All my earnestness on display, all my talk of putting more good and love into the world and all my heart-on-my-sleeveness was accepted and reveled in by this group of mostly strangers. The people who came up to me later and said they were moved or inspired by my talk were not the people I would have pegged to like my talk. It was such an interesting experience.
Then I got more feedback on the interwebs:
And although I know it’s vain and egotistical and unhealthy to get off on external validation so much it makes me think that I’m doing something right in my life. That people would enjoy a talk about earnestness and love and doing good so much inspires me that a whole lot of us are doing something right. This was a good reminder that there’s a whole lot of untapped potential for doing even more good in the world and I and you need to get on tapping into it and getting shit done and making shit better for all of us. To steal from my dear friend Jason a little bit: Let’s go!
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