Not Gon’ Cry or How I Remembered
My iTunes library needed an influx this morning. I was in the mood for a particular brand of ballad that relies heavily on extremely emotive female vocals. And since I no longer have any shame at all about any music that I like (if it brings me pleasure, joy or emotion there’s no shame in it) I’ll tell you that I bought Christina Aguilera’s “Beautiful.” That led Amazon MP3 to recommend something completely inappropriate but on the inappropriate page there was also a link to their collection of $.69 singles. Always one for a bargain I scanned the list and was pleasantly surprised to find “Not Gon’ Cry” by Mary J. Blige on the list.
I remembered it from back in the day. Back when “Waiting to Exhale” was hot, back when I was in college, back when I was young. Naturally I bought it.
Holy shit. Memory lane doesn’t even begin to describe it. The first few bars hit and I was back in that little one bedroom apartment on High Street.
It’s February 1996 and it’s cold out so I’m a little chilly in my long sleeve t-shirt and jeans sitting next to the living room window. B is long gone to school so I’m alone waiting for the video to come on VH1. Watching Angela Bassett set shit on fire while Mary J. wails is my preferred accompaniment for breakfast and I can count on VH1 to serve that shit up every morning before my 10:30 class. Morning ritual complete I put my brown canvas Eddie Bauer sneakers on and get ready to go.
Though I’m tempted to take it for the walk to campus, B’s discman is too heavy to carry and too fragile to throw in my backpack with all my books. So it’s Mary J’s voice that’s in my head as I head down High Street and cut across 14th to get to Chestnut and Thompson Hall.
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